Permission to be lazy
I've been lazy the past few days, and I feel kind of weird about it. The house is a mess. I need to catch up on dishes and laundry. But I've just been schlubbing it up since Christmas.
My wife always says we need lazy days. If you need to veg out, listen to your bod/brain and veg out. I think my lazy days would be a lot more effective—and therefore shorter—if I just gave myself permission to be lazy instead of trying to force myself to be productive. All the half-starts get so exhausting.
I just sat in the kitchen for like half an hour procrastinating making food. My time would've been better spent sitting on the futon and playing video games. I feel like I'm constantly trying to outsmart myself. I put off doing tasks, but then I turn around and put off being lazy. I have a tendency to get stuck in this weird limbo where relaxation and productivity are both made impossible.
I feel like I wasted the past two days. I could have just said screw it and let myself enjoy my time and fuck around, or I could have given myself that final push to get up and do what I need to do. But I didn't do anything, and that's the worst option.
I guess all I can do is try to relax now. So, I'm gonna be lazy for the rest of the night—as a treat.